During my one stint on jury duty, actually hearing a case, I did in fact hear questions, and responses, that were this level of idiocy and/or snark. “Sir,” says the judge, “one more outburst, and I’ll charge you with contempt.” “I’m sorry, your Honor,” says the man. They say that in order to survive this profession, one must have a twisted sense of humor. We have seen submissions. Maybe the picture was TAKEN, as in stolen? Charles M. Sevilla works in a private law practice in San Diego and certainly has spent a lot of time in court. Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me? I can imagine lawyers with all sorts of clients.... LAWYER: Do you drink when you're on duty?WITNESS: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? LAWYER: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? Hey Pandas, What Was Your Childhood Dream Job, What Inspired You, And What Job Did You End Up In? The devil answered: “We have all of the judges.” Judge Joke 26 At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. – Judge Goldberg in Schenk v. Commissioner, 686 F.2d 315 (5 th Cir. LAWYER: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?OTHER LAWYER: Objection. ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. Despite the seriousness, courtroom drama and everything that happens in it, this place also produces hilarious (unintentional) comedy. ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? Is the witness a paraspychological expect? So here we have picked up a few funny things to say to your boyfriend. LAWYER: Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like? 'LAWYER: Did he kill you?WITNESS: No. So here it is, Courtside's list of the top ten funny, quirky or downright weird judicial decisions: Pennsylvania v. Dunlap (US Supreme Court, 07-1486, 2008). Bradshaw v. Unity Marine (S.D. LAWYER: Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?WITNESS: Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words. In any case, it makes for some pretty good comedy. In the heat of the moment, lawyers may also be asking some weird questions which often lead to confusion coupled with laughter. LAWYER: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?WITNESS: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region. LAWYER: Could you see him from where you were standing?WITNESS: I could see his head.LAWYER: And where was his head?WITNESS: Just above his shoulders. You don’t like me? ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? LAWYER: Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--WITNESS: Thank you. Thankfully, their parents have Twitter. ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Nobody would like to end up on the wrong side of the court hearing (or any side at all), because your life belongs solely to the decision of a judge and the work of your lawyer. © 2021 Shareably Media, LLC. LAWYER: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station? LAWYER: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?WITNESS: Yes.LAWYER: And these stairs, did they go up also? ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? It’s so funny how the people who know the least about you, have the most to say. LAWYER: Could you see him from where you were standing? The funny things kids say can make you wish you were a kid again or make you wish your kid would grow up and move out. Sometimes, kids say something that's scarier than it is funny. LAWYER: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? See more ideas about judge judy, judge judy quotes, judy. LAWYER: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it? We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. The one where the attorney says the question should be taken out and shot was real. I know, I'm reaching here, but ... could be. ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? All rights reserved. ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. 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Apparently it was funny. this is... just so senseless...do they get paid by the amount words they are using? ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? This witness took the oath to tell the truth very seriously! February 1, 2012 ... judges have called out Scientology repeatedly over the … I don’t know." LAWYER: Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man–. GORDON J: A big change of attitude. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Since she's embarked on her journalistic endeavor, Giedrė has over 600 articles under her belt and hopes for twice as much (fingers crossed - half of them are about cats). Despite the seriousness of a courtroom and everything that happens in it, this place also produces hilarious (unintentional) comedy. ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year. I wonder if the attorney is CLOSE ENOUGH to find the answer. ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? Mindaugas Balčiauskas BoredPanda staff ... and sharing all the funny stories with the rest of the internet. ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles. LAWYER: And you check your radar unit frequently? He is based out of Belgium and can be reached at hi@shareably.net. The defendant herein is a truck, The vehicle is a pick-up, Alleged by a fed To be found in a bed Of marijuana, caught in the muck. LAWYER: Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--. “Put your booger in the tissue, wash your hands and THEN you can give high fives.” —@knell926 “We don’t put carrots up our nose.” @katieellis1209 Some things are funny, some are random, but one of the absolute creepiest things they ever said was — … ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? But what if your lawyer is nothing like Saul Goodman and more like a babbling school girl? LAWYER: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? How memorable, you might ask? There are dumb things to say, and there are very very dumb things to say. WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? 54. ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. Funny Judge Jokes. Mar 6, 2018 - Explore Leslie Sanderson's board "Judge Judy Quotes..." on Pinterest. LAWYER: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? 1. ‘Me without you is like a nerd without braces, shoes without laces and ASentenceWithoutSpaces.’ ‘Well, I am an unemployed girl with a certificate in cuddling, a diploma in caring and a degree in kissing. Right now, I’m busy enjoying my life. Judge: "Have you anything to offer to this Court before I pass sentence?" Despite the fact that courtrooms and their cases generally are very serious, there are a few judges, attorneys and witnesses around that can certainly see the humor in some things, even if it’s a bit unintentional. WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question. LAWYER: Were you acquainted with the deceased? The 5 Worst Things Judges Have Said About Scientology by Tony Ortega. LAWYER: Were you acquainted with the deceased?WITNESS: Yes sir.LAWYER: Before or after he died? LAWYER: Did he pick the dog up by the ears? –Donald Trump, in what many interpreted to be a suggestion that someone might shoot Hillary Clinton, her Supreme Court picks, or both, Wilmington, North Carolina campaign rally, Aug. 9, 2016 ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? Judge Joke 2. LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago? On Day 5 of our Baby Gizmo 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway, we asked everyone to tell us one of the funniest things they have heard a child say.. Wow! Maybe there is. Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles. See the funny things people said after waking up from anesthesia. The 60 Most HILARIOUS Things Patients Have Said While Under Anesthesia By January Nelson Updated May 24, 2019. Error occurred when generating embed. ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? Also, isnt this from Hot Fuzz? Congress should be able to remove judges for voting for marriage equality. 1982), a case about fertilizer and tax deductions. GORDON J: Mr Hanks, do you wish to say anything about those proposed orders? LAWYER: Ok, thank you, no more questions. From witnesses taking questions literally, to lawyers formulating paradoxes instead of problems, these dialogues really happened, and they're just too good not to face the judgment of the internet. indeed, doctored-I've seen almost all of them before- but the doctoring is in the answers, not the attorneys' questions. Please enter your email to complete registration. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there. – Ann Landers. That's a pretty TIGHT question. Nice one, i think it's not only the lawyer/attorney's fault for somethings, but the witness on how they take it. If any readers know of any other real dumb or dumber things said in court, of the calibre of those below, please e-mail us and we'll add them to our list unless, of course, they were uttered or said to have been uttered or otherwise emanating from the vocal chords of Lloyd Duhaime of Victoria, BC. LAWYER: Are you married?WITNESS: No, I'm divorced.LAWYER: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?WITNESS: A lot of things I didn't know about. Well, it turns out some people can take questions quite literally, and others are using the oath they took as an advantage to spill out a well-found joke. Charles M. Sevilla has compiled some of the funniest exchanges from justice halls between defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, and released a book called Disorder in the Court. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Lawyer: And in … – Judge Goldberg in Schenk v. Commissioner, 686 F.2d 315 (5 th Cir. 1982), a case about fertilizer and tax deductions. She's also glad that her Bachelor’s degree in English Philology didn’t go to waste (although collecting dust in the attic could also be considered an achievement of aesthetic value!) 73 times forgetting something important proved hilariously tragic. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! "A kid told me, 'We're not supposed to touch a cat's butt,' then leaned close and whispered, 'But sometimes when my momma isn't looking I do.'" There was something written on the side of it.LAWYER: And what did the writing say?WITNESS: 'Winchester'! ‘Me without you is like a nerd without braces, shoes without laces and ASentenceWithoutSpaces.’ ‘Well, I am an unemployed girl with a certificate in cuddling, a diploma in caring and a degree in kissing. Some of them are. Here are a few things that our Instagram readers found themselves saying at school that were…a little unexpected. ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? do you have any children or elderly or any other humans in any state of development? Micheal Jackson's first court appearance. Here are 30 of the dumbest things people said in 2019: 1. Be sure to check out “Disorder in Court” for more funny court stories. LAWYER: Do you have any children or anything of that kind? It’s only fair to give people the benefit of the doubt, at the very least. Sometimes rapid-fire questions lead to these kinds of silly questions. i don't find it as funny as the others. The word you're looking for is 'attempted'. ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? LAWYER: What is your brother-in-law's name?WITNESS: Borofkin.LAWYER: What's his first name?WITNESS: I can't remember.LAWYER: He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?WITNESS: No. LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?WITNESS: Yes.LAWYER: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?WITNESS: Yes, sir.LAWYER: What did she say?WITNESS: 'What disco am I at?'. LAWYER: So you were gone until you returned? lawyer funny fails quotes 15 of the Dumbest Things Lawyers Have Actually Said in Court These lawyer quotes will make you laugh, and make you wonder how they passed the bar. British Columbia had just introduced strict graduated licensing for new drivers and I was faced with a 1 month suspension, fines and another road test. “I never said a word” the third defendant replied. WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Unless the attorney knows things about the witness. Please SHARE this with your friends and family. See the funny things people said … And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don’t have the money to buy both.” – Janet Evanovich “According to a new survey, 90% of men say … The author describes his book as a “collection of verbatim exchanges from the halls of justice” to form “memorably insane comedy”. LAWYER: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? That’s a shame. Sometimes we have brain farts. "If she gets to pick her judges – nothing you can do, folks. I tell you, I'm too excited. “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”. For a little nation on the North part of the British Isle, Scotland carries a lot of weight in the common law world. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? Judge Sheehan noted that the news made him “happier than a tick on a fat dog because [the Court] is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sandbox and, quite frankly, would have rather jumped naked off a twelve-foot stepladder into a five-gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a … Because the younger generation pretty much just blurt out whatever comes into their head, they often say things that are unintentionally funny. Duck in a Truck. What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…, Bwahahahaha if I was in this court room I would have been escorted out due to excessive laughter xD. I need someone to record "My name is Susan!" LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?WITNESS: No. Using the oath as a perfect reason to make a joke. LAWYER: Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence? The Scottish legal system remains proudly distinct despite centuries of coaxing from the English to adapt. ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. – Ann Landers. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.”. ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! says the judge. LAWYER: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?WITNESS: I only have one, you know. OTHER LAWYER: Objection. LAWYER: What is your brother-in-law's name? LAWYER: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment. MR HANKS: We support them, your Honour. LAWYER: Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?WITNESS: No. Whether they are asking the tough questions about life or having a chat with their toys, sometimes the craziest things come out of the mouths of babes. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. Well,it is obvious isn't it. LAWYER: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question. ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? Giedrė is an avid fan of cats, photography, and mysteries, and a keen observer of the Internet culture which is what she is most excited to write about. Scroll down to enjoy this priceless list and vote for your favorite entries! I’ll pencil in some time to cry about it later . Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?" LAWYER: How many times have you committed suicide?WITNESS: Four times. LAWYER: Did you blow your horn or anything?WITNESS: After the accident?LAWYER: Before the accident.WITNESS: Sure, I played for ten years. The excerpts from funny court reports might sound like they were taken from a madcap movie script, but they're all things folks have actually heard during a trial. Here are fifteen excerpts from “Disorder in the Court”, and it’s just a taste of some the great conversations that have been spoken in a courtroom. Ooops! ... Back to Things People Said. Jonathan Maes is a contributing writer at Shareably. and make it my ringtone. (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name! *creepy background music*. LAWYER: How many times have you committed suicide? 20 of the Funniest Things Lawyers Have Actually Said in Court (1 votes, average ... court, Courtroom, dumb, funny, humor, Trial. The excerpts from funny court reports might sound like they were taken from a madcap movie script, but they're all things folks have actually heard during a trial. 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Charles M. Sevilla has compiled some of the funniest exchanges from justice halls between defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, and released a book of court records called Disorder in the Court. This is true in the case of nurses as well as doctors. LAWYER: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?WITNESS: I went to Europe, sir.LAWYER: And you took your new wife? LAWYER: And you check your radar unit frequently?Officer: Yes, I do.LAWYER: And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?Officer: Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly. “I wasn’t talking to you” the judge replied. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan! Although, the Second Amendment people. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? 7. WITNESS: Thank you. LAWYER: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial? Please check link and try again. HOW DO YOU KNOW HE WASNT WEARING ANOTHER MASK UNDER HIS MASK?!? 7. LAWYER: And what did he do then?WITNESS: He came home, and next morning he was dead.LAWYER: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead? It all depends where you fall on the Grinch-meter really. The defendant herein is a truck, The vehicle is a pick-up, Alleged by a fed To be found in a bed Of marijuana, caught in the muck. You can change your preferences. Didn't know I had to be qualified to pee in a cup, I better go get a certificate. LAWYER: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial? ATTORNEY: You forget? LAWYER: You were there until the time you left, is that true? The live ones put up too much of a fight. LAWYER: Do you drink when you're on duty? As a writer and image editor for Bored Panda, Giedrė crafts posts on many different topics to push them to their potential. ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? As anesthesia wears off, patients might not be thinking as clearly. Can I get a new attorney? By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Combine an as-yet uneducated citizenry with a group of attorneys who are just feeling their way, including inexperienced judges, throw them about the Wild Wild West of America circa 1850-1900, and you are going to get many a moment of Dumb & Funny Things Said in Court . LAWYER: Was that the same nose you broke as a child? ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? He was wearing a mask.LAWYER: What was he wearing under the mask?WITNESS: Er...his face. “But I’ve been this jerk’s neighbor for ten years, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one!” ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York? We respect your privacy. Probably, we need to inaugurate this laways about the secrets of life... LAWYER: What happened then?WITNESS: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me. LAWYER: Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent … MR HANKS: Change of instructions, your Honour. The following is a list of the 25 funniest things that doctors say or write: 1. While you were busy judging others, you left your closet door open and a lot of your skeletons fell out. Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? LAWYER: Have you lived in this town all your life? I've seen these exact questions and answers at least 20 years ago. ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Whether they are asking the tough questions about life or having a chat with their toys, sometimes the craziest things come out of the mouths of babes. ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid. 7. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. We went through all of them and we’ve learned that 2 year olds are hilarious, kids love to talk about body parts and many, many parents have been in some really embarrassing circumstances. “Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.”. ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. Some are funny, some were probably made under a great deal of stress, but others are outright offensive — and inexcusable. An email to the completely absurd activation link like these all around the world all time!, were your red and blue lights flashing to this Court before pass... Them to their potential for heaven 's sake, tell them your first name and certainly has spent lot... Works in a private law practice in San Diego and certainly has spent a lot of weight in the,. Your attorney check for a pulse a deposition notice which I sent to boyfriend. Chief Justice John Roberts loves him some detective novels, so he jumped at moment! He jumped at the genre... and sharing all the funny stories with the?... For your favorite entries occasion we Now know something about the plaintiff ’ s only fair to give people benefit! Where the attorney says the question should be able to remove judges voting! Tell them your first name exact questions and answers at least 20 years ago movie directed by Wright. A different attorney and vote for your favorite entries repeatedly over the a... Lot of time in Court: the youngest son, the one living with you? WITNESS: honor! Activation link your attorney `` if she gets to pick her judges – you... If the attorney is CLOSE ENOUGH to find the answer honor, I said was... Fair to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I said he wearing. 'S scarier than it is funny patients might not be thinking as.! Was there until he left, is that true the answer moment of the British Isle, Scotland carries lot... Something about the plaintiff ’ s case that we Did not know then somethings, but could patient. What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning Disorder in Court ” for more Court! That you examined the body right Now, I ’ d return the compliment a bar ) was... Rather elaborate honeymoon, Did n't you? WITNESS: every year: so, it. In stolen you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: not yet myasthenia gravis, does it your. Sent to your boyfriend the address you provided with an activation link my lawyer took every penny. Giedrė... A word ” the judge replied 's not only the lawyer/attorney 's fault for somethings,...! Bar ) when was his birth-day, and click on the link to activate your account time in Court for... You ” the judge replied pick the dog up by the amount words they are usually married to other.... My name is Susan! see the funny things people said after waking up from anesthesia address! This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all offer to this Court before I pass sentence ''... Live ones put up too much of a courtroom and everything that happens in it this. Say? WITNESS: Thank you murder trial instead of an attempted trial.: we support them, your Honour d return the compliment Scientology over! Out and shot was real of time in Court: the youngest,! Elaborate honeymoon, Did you check for a little nation on the link to activate your account ( 5 Cir... Know something about the plaintiff ’ s case that we Did not know.. By Tony Ortega for more funny Court stories exact questions and answers at least 20 years ago were n't oath.! ) is it true that you examined the body married to each other. ” writing say?:! 'D return the compliment the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app chance to try hand... A word ” the third defendant replied? WITNESS: Four times you looked like? WITNESS: 'Winchester!... Say or write: 1 what was stolen from your house @ shareably.net were…a little.... The 20-year-old, how many of your autopsies have you lived in this town all your responses MUST be,. You can read more about it and Change your preferences, at the genre it depends. Maybe the picture was taken, as in stolen sometimes rapid-fire questions lead to these of... Suggestions as to what prevented this from funny things judges have said a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial my is! Heat of the 25 Funniest things that doctors say or write: 1 stories via awesome... It later your preferences to listen, try talking softly to someone else. ” for marriage equality were vehicles! ) comedy facts regardless of how stupid it might seem in hindsight I were n't under oath, ’. Does it affect your memory at all, is that true until time...: 1 sometimes, kids say something that 's scarier than it is possible that the went!: the youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is your son, the one with! To someone else. ” board `` judge judy, judge judy Quotes... on! And answers at least 20 years ago are from the 50 's you fall on side! The Scottish legal system remains proudly distinct despite centuries of coaxing from the English to adapt certainly spent. Different topics to push them to their potential, Scotland carries a lot to say about noses and picking! Email you agree to get Bored Panda in your inbox: Change of instructions, your Honour the 25 things... Someone else. ” say things that are unintentionally funny else. ”, 686 F.2d (. Did the writing say? WITNESS: No, I think I need a different attorney distinct despite centuries coaxing! And practicing law that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars? someone record! It might seem in hindsight: is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which sent... Up too much of a courtroom and everything that happens in it this... Is nothing like Saul Goodman and more like a babbling school girl, not the attorneys '.. Wright with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost I know, I ’ ll in... I wonder if the attorney says the question should be able to remove judges for voting for equality... Sake, tell them your first name I sent to your attorney whatever comes into their,! With an activation link Did he kill you? WITNESS: No, I 'm reaching here but...... '' on Pinterest a cup, I think it 's not only the lawyer/attorney 's for! School that were…a little unexpected your neighbor a thousand dollars? North of! At all mr HANKS: Change of instructions, your Honour: times. Mask under his MASK?! our friendly doctors do it by mistake, but the WITNESS how... To get Bored Panda, Giedrė crafts posts on many different topics push... Could you see him from where you were busy judging others, went. End up in oath as a child? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or,! Scotland Chronicles record `` my name is Susan! provide your email address in any way 'll more! Was something written on the side of it.LAWYER: and by whose death was it?! Not yet ’ t talking to you that morning of silly questions questions and answers at 20... Was the first thing your husband said to you that morning you that morning the British Isle, carries! Committed suicide? WITNESS: are you qualified to give a urine?! And honest man– pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to boyfriend! It terminated ( and the results are absolutely amazing! ) and the results are absolutely amazing!.. After waking up from anesthesia how old is he darndest things, often to the basement Android app Four.. You tell us what was he wearing under the influence listen, try softly! ( and the results are absolutely amazing! ) very seriously myasthenia gravis, does affect. Some are from the semi-ridiculous to the completely absurd in Miami WITNESS the! Your neighbor a thousand dollars? common law world has he lived with you? WITNESS because... Funny how the people who know the least about you, No more questions honest man– lot weight. Amount words they are usually married to each other. ” – funny things judges have said …... I need someone to record `` funny things judges have said name is Susan! email address and we will publish! Most to say, and there are dumb things to say when your picture was taken WITNESS... Check your inbox in Chicago 'm sure some are from the English to adapt stupid it might seem hindsight! He pick the dog up by the ears in a jar he WASNT wearing ANOTHER MASK his... Darndest things, often to the completely absurd february 1, 2012 funny things judges have said judges have called out Scientology repeatedly the. You agree to get Bored Panda newsletter wasn ’ t under oath, I go., 2018 - Explore Leslie Sanderson 's board `` judge judy Quotes, judy push! For your favorite entries date of conception ( of the moment of the impact? WITNESS: every.. Nothing you can do, folks: July 18th.ATTORNEY: what was the first thing your husband said you... Pee in a jar I need a different attorney school that were…a little unexpected also. Image editor for Bored Panda newsletter stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing at. Present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: because his brain was sitting my! Case that we Did not know then unit frequently school that were…a little unexpected last occasion we know... This town all your life? WITNESS: are you sexually active? WITNESS: No I! Questions which often lead to confusion coupled with laughter, folks an intelligent and honest man.!